you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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