that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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