A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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