so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
babies were throwing up all over the place
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize