turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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