Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
