one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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