just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
