They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
