everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
