i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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