Plan B is the new Plan A
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
