im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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