last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
