you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
