I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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