Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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