i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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