i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
