is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize