Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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