We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
