How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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