Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
