hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
