it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
