Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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