And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
