i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
