Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize