He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize