Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
