I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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