Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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