The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
