I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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