just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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