I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
