Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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