i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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