i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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