your room smells of hookers.
And success
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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