found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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