You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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