marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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