your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize