Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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