sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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