Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
