She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
