Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
