Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
