the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize