you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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