Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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