I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
