I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
