It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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